An Understanding
by Draco's Fantasizer
Summary: HG and RHr EVENTUALLY this starts after Harry's 5th year - OOTP SPOILERS! Harry is depressed and doesn't think he deserves any friends at all...what he doesn't realize is that the one girl who he needs has been right under his nose the whole time...actio
1. Default Chapter

Hello everyone! This is my first fic, hope you like it

Getting the ridiculous Disclaimer out of the way: I do not own Harry Potter (yeah, I wish) and while I have been inspired by other fics, the things that I write are mine and if you recognize and idea that is yours, I did not intentionally do that, our ideas may just have coincided. R/R!

Sighing, Harry threw down his hoe. Aunt Petunia had him weeding her flowerbeds again. The sun was setting and Harry realized with a start, he'd been at it for 3 hours. Somehow, time didn't seem to matter anymore. He hardly cared where he was or what he was doing, his mind only occupied by one thing.

"Boy! Get in here!" barked Uncle Vernon. Grimacing, Harry walked into the house. "Ah!" shrieked Aunt Petunia. "You're getting dirt all over the floor!" Harry just sighed and slumped down into a chair. "Nevermind the floor, Petunia. Explain this!" he spat at Harry, squeezing a tawny owl, which was hooting indignantly in his large fist. "Mr. and Mrs. Dursley," he read out loud. "We are concerned regarding your behavior toward Harry. We have not received a letter from him in the past 3 days. We can only assume this is due to your not allowing him the use of his owl. We are writing to inform you to stop this at once. If you fail to comply, there will be serious consequences. Hope you're enjoying your summer. "

Best Regards,

Remus Lupin

Harry remained silent, looking at the floor. "WELL?" yelled Uncle Vernon. "Why aren't you writing these freaks! We don't want people like them showing up here!"

"Fine. I'll do whatever you want. I don't care." Harry sat down and scribbled a note to Lupin saying, "I'm fine."

"There you go. Can I go now?"

"Sit back down! I want to know why you didn't "owl" these people earlier. I don't want anymore ruddy owls flying in my house!" Harry just looked at him. He felt like shouting, _Don't you get it? I'm a murderer. I killed Sirius, I killed Cedric, I killed my parents and I'm killing more people by not having defeated Voldemort yet_ He felt hot tears coming to his eyes once again. "Just leave me alone!" he shouted and ran up to his room. Throwing himself on the bed, Harry cried himself to sleep like he had every night this summer. Sleeping didn't do him any good either. Every time he closed his eyes, he dreamed of the department of mysteries. He had grabbed onto Sirius' hand but Sirius fell through the veil anyway saying, "Harry, it's your fault I'm dying. Why couldn't you have defeated Voldemort?" Every morning, Harry woke up in a cold sweat, feeling like he hadn't gotten any rest at all. Life just seemed pointless now. He was a threat to everyone. Everyone should stay away from him. If they got too close, they'd die too. But they didn't seem to be getting the message. He looked at the stack of letters he'd received which remained unopened. He could make out Hermione's neat writing, Ron's scrawl, Hagrid's writing, and even Ginny's. Why did they all want to talk to him? Didn't they realize that after what he'd done he didn't deserve friends? He wished they'd all just leave him alone.

Wow, well that's the first chapter done. I promise it won't be this depressing because I really like happy stories. It will also be more humorous and a Harry/Ginny Ron/Hermione will develop eventually, but it won't be pure fluff. Review please!


	2. A flock of owls and OWLs

Hey everyone! I haven't quite figured out this html thing - but i'm trying :)

Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Chapter 2: a flock of owls and OWLs

"Ahh!! Hey, stop!" Harry was unpleasantly awoken by Hedwig's biting and clawing him. "What's the matter, Hedwig?" said Harry. Then he saw. Hedwig had no less than three letters in her beak. "Forget it, Hedwig. I'm not opening them so you may as well stop trying." Hedwig clicked her beak at him and pressed her talons into his shoulder. "Ahh!" screamed Harry again. "Fine! I give up!" He opened the first letter. It was from Hermione.

Hi Harry,

How's your summer going? Lousy I bet. Why haven't you been answering my letters? Nevermind, I know the answer to that, but I don't like it. Please, Harry, stop shutting us out. We want to help. You need to talk to somebody. What happened in the Department of Mysteries was NOT YOUR FAULT. In case you didn't read that, read it again. NOT YOU FAULT. Please write back. I miss you.

Love,

Hermione

Harry sighed again. She wanted him to talk, but he had nothing to say. They shouldn't be concerned about him anyway. He didn't deserve it. The next letter he saw was Ron's.

Hey mate,

Why aren't you replying to my owls? How's your summer going? Mine's pretty good. I'm sorry about Padfoot. It wasn't your fault, you know. But hey, guess what? Fred and George bought me a new broom! They bought me a Nimbus 2001! It's not as good as your firebolt but it's awesome! I'm working at their joke shop this summer and instead of paying me they bought me the broom. It's so awesome! Can't tell you much of what's going on even though I know you hate it. (Dumbledore's orders). Maybe he'll let you come to the burrow soon.

Ron

PS: Ginny wants to add something

Hi Harry,

I'm not going to ask you how your summer's going or tell you that I know what you're going through. So get your head out of your arse and stop blaming yourself. We all care about you and miss you. I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

Love,

Ginny

PS #2: Ginny's lost her mind. You don't have your head in your arse, but you do need to stop blaming yourself.

Harry was glad that Ron was happy with his broom. He hoped that Dumbledore would reverse Harry's quidditch ban. If he didn't have quidditch, he had nothing left. Dumbledore. Yes, it was partly his fault. But Harry knew it was much more his own fault. Why hadn't he listened to Hermione? Why hadn't he thought of the mirror? He put his hands over his face, frustrated.  
Ginny's letter though. That was interesting. The fact that she didn't seem very sympathetic was refreshing. All he wanted to do was yell at people that they didn't understand anything and here she was telling him she agreed. That surprised Harry. He was tired of people looking at him and wanting to cry. Ginny was the first person who had put it that way. Slightly cheered, Harry got his quill and wrote letters to his friends for the first time that summer.

Hermione - My summer's fine. I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Sorry for not answering your previous letters.

Ron - That's cool. Sounds like you're having fun. Sorry for not answering your previous letters.

Ginny - Thanks for the offer.

Then he remembered the Order. Lupin and whoever else – "I'm fine." He wrote, "Don't worry about me."

Hedwig scoffed at him for his short replies but looked content nonetheless. Just as Harry sent Hedwig off, another owl flew into Harry's window. This owl looked very official and Harry realized that it had his OWL results. Harry felt his stomach jump even though he had forgotten about OWLs. He was surprised to see how well he'd done.

Dear Mr. Potter, enclosed are your OWL results and your book list for your 6th year. Have a pleasant summer

Practical:

Herbology: E

Defense against the Dark Arts: O

Transfiguration: E

Astronomy: P

Divination: D

Potions: E

Charms: E

Care of Magical Creatures: O

Written:

Herbology: E

Defense against the Dark Arts: O

Transfiguration: E

Astronomy: E

Potions: E

Charms: E

History of Magic: -unable to complete exam

_Well, that wasn't too bad,_ thought Harry. He hadn't achieved an O in Potions though. Did this mean that he wasn't eligible for Auror's classes? Maybe McGonagall would do something. Attached to the OWL results was a letter from Dumbledore. Reluctantly, Harry started reading it.

"Dear Harry", it read, "I understand that you are exceedingly angry with me as you should be. As I told you in June, this was my fault, not yours Harry. Please don't shut out the people that love you. There is the matter of Sirius' will. I know you don't want to think about this, but Harry you need to hear it as it concerns you. I will be picking you up in 3 days for this.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore.

Harry grimaced. Reading that will would mean accepting the truth that Sirius was dead. A small part of Harry was still expecting him to burst through the door grinning from ear to ear at what an excellent joke it was. He didn't want to do this, but it appeared he had no choice.

Hope you liked this chapter! R/R!


	3. A Frustrating Visit

voxenking - thanks very much for reviewing! Glad you like it, really made my day!

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

Now onto chapter 3! WooT

Chapter 3: A frustrating visit

The next two days seemed to pass very slowly for Harry. He was almost glad of the work he was being required to do because it helped keep his mind off....things. After Aunt Petunia finally decided he'd had enough for the day, Harry didn't have any energy left to do anything except collapse on his bed. Now the microscopic portions of food that the Dursleys gave him seemed satisfactory. He had no appetite anyway. As soon as he got in bed, he fell asleep. But peaceful rest was too much to ask for. He woke up in a cold sweat again.

The next morning, before Aunt Petunia could give him any more chores, Harry decided to take a walk again. He opened the door and jumped back, startled, as Mrs. Figg stepped through the doorway wearing a long brown woolen skirt, a cardigan that Harry was sure she had bought at least 50 years ago, and a large violet feathered hat that could have made Neville's grandmother jealous. "Harry," she said, nodding briskly, "Good to see you're safe."

_Erm,_ Harry thought, _how am I supposed to respond to that?_ "Nice to see you, too, Mrs. Figg. Erm, are you here to talk to me?" Harry thought quickly, wondering why she was there as his heart sped upin fear ofanother attack. "Has something happened?"

"Nothing unexpected," said Mrs. Figg, her mouth in a straight line, "No one's been attacked yet." Harry visibly relaxed at this. "Anyway," Mrs. Figg continued, "I need to have a word with you."

Petunia came down the stairs, looking very surprised to see Harry and Mrs. Figg standing in the doorway. "Ah, Petunia!" exclaimed Mrs. Figg. "So good to see you. I was just wondering if I could use your useless boy to weed my flowerbeds. They're getting out of hand and I don't have the strength to do it myself." She said in a matter of fact way.

Well, anything that involved more work for Harry was fine with Petunia. "Of course," she snapped. "Not like he's doing anything useful right now. Go weed her flowerbeds and then come right back and weed mine. You did such a poor job last time that now there are twice as many."

Knowing she was lying but not being able to do a thing about it, Harry groaned at the thought of work so early in the morning. He hadn't even eaten breakfast yet. Hearing his groan, Petunia smiled contentedly and went into the kitchen to cut up some grapefruits and oranges for Dudley. Mrs. Figg clasped her hands and then pushed Harry out the door. As they walked over to her house, she looked around furtively, her carpet slippers scraping on the sidewalk. He walked up the peeling yellow paint that covered her front steps and stepped in the door after she had unlocked the four locks.

"Sit." Mrs. Figg told him as he crinkled his nose at the familiar smell of cats. He sat on the faded brown sofa and fought to keep from falling in. Mrs. Figg stared at him. "Potter," she said, "you must be hungry." Without waiting for a response, she shuffled into the kitchen and came back with a can of cat food that she set down for Mr. Tibbles, who was mewing in the corner, and a stale bran muffin.

Harry tried to shake his head and say 'no thanks', but his stomach betrayed him with a loud growl. He took the muffin and started chewing, dimly registering the taste of cardboard. Mrs. Figg watched him for another minute before she continued. "Dumbledore wants to speak to you, boy. He told me to tell you that he will meet you in that park you're so fond of at four today. Make sure to have your belongings packed."

Harry stared at her. Was that it? Was that all she had to tell him? He already knew Dumbledore was coming to take him to the reading of Sirius' will. So now he just knew the time and the place, apparently things too risky to put in a letter. Still, Harry was disappointed. He'd been expecting something of a debriefing from Mrs. Figg and she'd simply told him a little extra information about Dumbledore coming to get him.

"Mrs. Figg," Harry asked tentatively, "is that all you can tell me? There isn't anything else going on, is there?" Harry asked, somewhat afraid of the answer.

"Harry," Mrs. Figg started somewhat snappishly, "I'm not very well informed of what's been going on. I read the _Daily Prophet_. Sometimes Dumbledore sends me a message, other times that dratted Mungundus stops in for a snack, but other than that, I really don't know anymore than you do. If you're looking for information, you're going to have to get that somewhere else." She straightened her hat as Harry finished the muffin thinking, _no news is good news, I suppose_. "Now, you'd better go smear some dirt on your hands so it looks like you've been working. I'll walk you back to your house."

After weeding Aunt Petunia's flower beds while she leered at him from the window, Harry packed his things and went to the park. Dudley was still sleeping, so Harry didn't have to think about running into him. He sat down on a bench and noticed some children curiously glancing his way. After a while, he decided that this was almost as bad as having people gaping at him in the wizarding world for his scar. He got up from the swing and started back. Just before he turned the last corner he heard _Crack!_ Spinning around, Harry took his wand out and narrowed his eyes. Was it Dumbledore? Or was it trouble? He still had a subscription to the _Daily Prophet _but it hadn't reported much of anything other than anti-Death Eater tips. Harry smirked thinking of number 21: Do not drink anything offered by a known enemy.

"Well, Harry, I understand that we're meeting sooner than I planned for." Harry spun around, wand out, to see Dumbledore smiling at him. Harry lowered his wand and stowed it in his pocket. Forgetting his relief that it wasn't a Death Eater, Harry glared at him. As far as he was concerned, Dumbledore was still partly to blame for Sirius' death. He should've told him about the prophecy sooner.

"What's going on, Professor? What's Voldemort been doing? Are the members of the Order safe?" Harry stopped to draw a breath.

"Harry, we can't talk here" Dumbledore replied, looking around. "I will tell you when we get there. Go get your things, Harry. I think we're starting to attract attention." Sure enough, neighbors were beginning to peak out of their windows to see what was going on.

Harry ran into the house and threw some leftover things in his trunk having already packed most of it. Hedwig wasn't back yet so he threw her cage in there too.

Uncle Vernon came into the hall just as Harry was heaving his trunk down the stairs. "Where are you going, boy?" he barked.

"I'm leaving."

"Petunia! The boy's leaving!" he called. "Good riddance" he muttered just loudly enough for Harry to hear.

"Harry, you are not to leave this house. It's for your own dratted safety." Aunt Petunia told him coming into the kitchen, hands on her hips.

"No, it's fine, Aunt Petunia. Dumbledore's taking me to... well he's taking me."

"Oh, first that crackpot wants us to keep him and now he's taking him? What a waste of my time!" Aunt Petunia screeched as Harry slammed the door.

"Grab onto this, Harry. It's a portkey." Dumbledore held up a bag of sherbert lemons. Harry felt the familiar feeling of dread in his stomach as he put one finger on the bag and got ready for the jolt in 3, 2, 1....

R/R!


	4. Dealing with it

Hi! Thanks very much for reviewing: Sarahamanda, smol, voxenking, and the person who goes by "none" :)

Chapter 4: Dealing with it

_Woosh!_ Harry felt his feet slam into the ground. He worked very hard to keep standing. Looking up, he realized he had arrived in front of Grimmauld Place. Harry thought of #12 and grimaced as the house appeared. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Harry, I know you don't want to do this, but you must face it." Dumbledore said. Harry could see the sadness in his eyes and he continued walking. The house looked slightly better than Harry remembered it. None of that mattered, though. Memories of Sirius flooded Harry's brain as he walked into the kitchen.

"Harry!" yelled Hermione and Ginny. Before Harry had a chance to reply, he was hugged fiercely by both girls. Ron clapped him on the back, "Good to see you, mate." Fred and George suddenly apparated in.

"Drat!" Fred yelled.

"We missed it!" George continued.

"Missed what?" asked Harry.

"Well you see, Harry," George started with the air of one explaining that 11 2, "we were going to be the first ones to greet you and squeeze the life out of you."

"But Hermione and Ginny beat us to it." Fred finished.

Harry blushed. Fred and George were grinning from ear to ear. "How's the joke shop going?" he asked.

Snape cleared his throat loudly. Harry spun around. He hadn't realized Snape was there. Hatred surged in Harry. Why was Snape here? Now? He found himself wishing Sirius had left him a curse as part of his will. Snape sneered at him, "Relax, Potter. I loathe being here as much as you loathe having me here. I merely hoped that we could finish this matter quickly. I have important things to be doing that don't involve listening to your inane conversations."

Harry glared at him. He opened his mouth to let Snape know exactly what Harry felt he should be doing, but Dumbledore cut him off.

"That's enough. Harry, Severus, calm down. Everyone have a seat. Mr. Brown, please begin."

Harry turned to look at an official looking wizard sitting to his right. He took out his glasses and extracted a folded piece of parchment from his bag. As he unfolded it, a ghost of Sirius rose out, smiling at them all.

"If you are hearing this, then I am most unfortunately gone." Snape snorted. "Stop smirking, Snape. You're only here because I owe you. Please don't be upset over my death. I mean it Snape - don't make me change my mind. I love you all very much. Harry, I know you are going to find some way to blame yourself for my death because you have a great heart and you always blame yourself for everything. We are in hard times now, things happen. Keep safe, as Moody says, constant vigilance! Don't be afraid of life – throw a party. Most of those gathered here love you very much. Be good to them. Especially to Ginny, Ron, and Hermione. They are the best friends you will ever have. Never lose sight of that. Harry, I leave you my house and 1/3 of the gold in my vault. Promise me you'll have fun with it. Do something crazy. I also leave you a pensieve with some of my memories from both Hogwarts and your parents' wedding. I hope they'll help you understand your father and I better. Remus – you've been one of my best friends in the world. I leave you 1/3 of the gold in my vault. USE IT and I would like you to become Harry's guardian as I am not able to be here to do it. Remus, be happy. No one deserves it more than you. Fred and George - I leave you 1/10 of the gold in my vault to invest in your shop. Continue causing trouble. The world needs pranksters like you. In my vault you will also find a journal of the pranks that James, Remus, and I got up to in our Hogwarts days. Use it. Molly, Arthur, I leave you 1/5 of the gold in my vault. Thank you so much for taking care of Harry. I know you love him like a son and I greatly appreciate everything you've done for him over the years. Thank you so much. Please donate the remainder of my money to St. Mungos. Ron, Hermione, see what's right in front of your eyes and don't be afraid of it. That goes for you too, Remus. I love you all. Snape, you're not getting any money. But I did leave you something that Mr. Brown will give to you. Take care."

Sirius winked at them all and faded into the paper. Mr. Brown looked at the words on the paper, which were an exact copy of what Sirius had said. Everyone was crying except Snape, of course. Mr. Brown rummaged in his bag and gave Harry a beautiful white pensieve very similar to the one Dumbledore had and gave Snape a package in an old silver box, a little bit bigger than the package that had contained the sorcerer's stone. Snape pocketed it and stood up. "Dumbledore - I'm off." he said and stormed out the door with his cloak billowing behind him.

R/R!


	5. Going Home

Hi everyone! I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long The thing is, I didn't really have a plot when I started and I wrote the first few chapters on a whim. They've been rewritten and now I have like 20 pages of scattered plot ideas but I have an actual plot! Ta da! So, reread chapters 1-4 and here's chapter 5.

Chapter 5: Going home

There was a short silence after Snape left, punctuated by Hermione and Mrs. Weasley's quiet sniffles as they wiped away their remaining tears. Still holding the pensieve, Harry dried his own eyes briskly on the sleeve of his tee-shirt. The money Sirius left him didn't mean much to him, but the pensieve was something really special. Harry watched the translucent white substance swaying lightly as he moved the pensieve around. He looked up to notice Lupin watching him.

Remus came over and sat down next to Harry. "Harry," he began, "I know you miss him. I do, too. He and your dad were the best friends I've ever had." Remus looked down sadly at his hands, the lines of his face becoming more pronounced as he winced, his face mirroring the pain in his heart. Harry nodded briefly at him before turning to look the other way, tears threatening to erupt in his eyes again.

Ginny watched the two sitting side by side, their shoulders slumped and their eyes retaining a hollow feeling she had never seen in Harry's eyes before, but often in Remus's. Her heart went out to Harry as she thought of any way she could help him, comfort him, or do anything to help. She watched the uncharacteristically quiet Fred and George who hugged the still sniffling Mrs. Weasley. She had never known that her mother would grieve so deeply for Sirius. After all of their squabbles, it was still like losing yet another family member to Voldemort. Molly couldn't handle it. She watched Ron awkwardly hug Hermione as she cried softly against his shoulder. She looked around for her dad, but couldn't find him. Then suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. He was there, as he had always been, standing strong behind her. She smiled at him and they looked over at Remus. He was talking quietly to Harry, but neither could make out what they were saying. Finally, Dumbledore stood up.

He cleared his throat and surveyed everyone over his half moon spectacles.

"I think it would be best," he paused, "if we all went home." Harry looked up at Remus, surprised. Surely he wasn't going to be coming back to the Dursleys, was he? He looked at his trunk still by the door. Was he expected to stay at Grimmauld place?

Hermione was getting up and Mrs. Weasley hugged her saying, "We'll see you soon, dear." Hermione nodded quietly, waved goodbye and walked out the door where her parents were waiting to take her home.

Ron came over to Harry. "Well, let's go then. Dumbledore's right. There's no point in hanging around here." Ron shivered as he looked around the kitchen. Harry tried to think, his brain still swimming with images of Sirius, but a small bubble of hope forming in his chest. "We're going to the burrow?"

"Yeah, what'd you think?" Ron asked, shaking his head.

Harry smiled and they went to join the rest of the Weasleys getting ready to leave through floo powder. Mr. Weasley disappeared first, dragging in Harry's trunk with him and shouting "The Burrow" as he stepped into the green flames. Harry followed him, coughing up ash as he arrived in the living room of the burrow. He blinked as bright light filled his eyes and moved out of the way quickly as Ron stumbled out of the fireplace. The burrow looked very different.

R/R!


	6. Back to the Burrow

A/N: I know last chapter was short and I'm sorry. I was writing it during my creative writing block in 40 minutes and just wanted to post something. Thanks for reviewing everyone! Especially PERKYGIRLY who reviewed all 5 chapters. There won't be much H/G in the near future because I believe it will take a bit of time to get there in the book just like R/Hr, but I promise there will be significant progress by the end of the fic. I update when I have the time – currently I'm awaiting my college decision, so my updates are not very frequent, but I should be able to keep up with a chapter a week, that will probably be longer than the ones I've posted so far. Thanks very much for reading!

Disclaimer: See chapter 1.

Chapter 6: Back to the burrow

Harry shook floo powder off him as he moved to the side to avoid being jostled by at least twenty aurors. He had never seen this many people in the cozy, but cramped Burrow. They were running around the living room muttering charms and waving their wands. The air was filled with a multicolored haze, the feel of powerful magic hanging in the air.

"Bloody hell." said Ron, looking around. "I thought they'd be gone by now. Well, come on then, let's get your stuff into my room." Harry followed him up the stairs, dragging his heavy trunk behind him, trying to avoid the mass of people running through.

"Ouch!"

Turning around, Harry saw Tonks hopping on one foot, looking somewhat annoyed but happy to see him.

"Wotcher, Harry," she said panting. "Your trunk seems to have an attraction to my foot. But I can't talk now." She stopped hopping and limped exaggeratedly down the stairs. "Sorry!" Harry called after her, still somewhat stunned. He then remembered that she had spent two weeks recovering in St. Mungo's from Bellatrix's attack at the Department of Mysteries. His stomach filled with lead. She had barely recovered, and there he was banging her with his trunk again. Her being injured in the first place was his fault anyway. Feeling horrible, Harry continued up the stairs, trying very hard not to hurt anyone else. When he finally dragged his trunk into Ron's room, he saw Ron sitting on the bed reading Quidditch Through the Ages.

"Took you long enough to get up here, Harry." Ron said, chuckling.

"Well, it was _really nice_ of you to help me get my trunk up the stairs. I managed to ram it into Tonks on the way." Harry sat down on Ron's bed, grateful for the rest. Ron's room looked exactly the same: orange Chudley Cannons posters everywhere, orange walls, various Weasley sweaters popping out of his closet. The only new thing, Harry noted, was a picture of him, Ron, and Hermione which was sitting on his desk near his bed. Ron was ruffling his hair and glancing at Hermione, turning away quickly when she caught him looking and blushing slightly. Harry had a big grin on his face, watching his friends, enjoying the sunlight.

He remembered that picture. Dean had taken it by the lake, the day after Ron's glorious quidditch game. He wondered whether he'd ever be that happy again. Trying to avoid becoming too depressed and realizing he was staring off into space again, Harry turned to Ron, realizing he had a lot of questions.

"So, who are all of those people running around?"

"Oh. Those are aurors. We're having wards put up around the burrow, so we can stay here. But it's been taking all day. I thought they'd be done by now, but I guess not. My room's already been done."

"I can't see any wards." said Harry, trying to find signs of magic in Ron's orange world.

"Well, of course you can't. You're not supposed to be able to. They're for protection against, well, you-know-who."

Harry grew irritated. "VOLDEMORT, Ron. Say VOLDEMORT. Come on. Hermione says it now." Ron winced and shut his ears.

"Yeah, well, she's Hermione. Do you have to shout it out? We're putting wards up for Godsake."

Harry scowled. "Whatever, Ron. Where's Hermione anyway? Why isn't she staying here with us?"

"Oh, didn't you read her letters? She's spending the first half of summer with her parents. They've put a fidelius charm on her house and her family. You know? Like the one they put on you and your mom and dad." Ron looked kind of uncomfortable, but continued, "So she's staying there for a while and she's worried but she's happy about it because she hasn't been able to spend that much time with her family and she wants them to be safe. Dumbledore reckons Voldemort might target them because Hermione is everything he hates. You know, being a muggleborn and brilliant." Ron tapered off, seeing Harry's face starting to turn red.

"It's because of me, isn't it? I know that's what you're saying. Yeah, she's brilliant and a muggleborn, but there are a lot of those. If she wasn't friends with me, he wouldn't even know about her, or think of going after her and her parents."

Ron opened his mouth to interrupt Harry, but Harry cut him off, "No, forget it, Ron. Nothing you can say will change my mind. I'm putting all of you in danger just by being here. You should just bring me back to the Dursleys."

Ron sprang up and looked at Harry like he had just grown another head.

"Bring you back to the Dursleys? Are you mad?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Listen, Harry, stop blaming yourself. Hermione's worried sick about you. So am I, to tell you the truth. WE ALL ARE. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself because you're going to crack and I doubt the world wants to be picking up the pieces of the boy who lived."

With that said, Ron glared at Harry who just stared back at him open-mouthed. Ron had never yelled at him like that before. He quickly muttered an apology and Ron sat back down on his bed, unclenching his fists, his anger subsiding.

"Well," Ron said roughly, "now that we've got that covered, let's go see what Mum has for dinner. I'm starving, and it sounds like the aurors have finally left." Harry followed Ron out of his room and down the stairs into the kitchen.

Mrs. Weasley was bustling around the kitchen directing the knife cutting up the carrots and occasionally tasting the self-stirring stew and muttering about needing salt. "Mum," said Ron, "what's for dinner?"

Mrs. Weasley noticed Ron in the kitchen, but choosing not to reply to his question, she thrust a large loaf of bread in his hands, saying "Go put that on the table!" Ron tried to catch a glimpse of dinner, but stopped at the angry expression on her face. "Yes, mum" he muttered and Harry followed him out. Ron walked into the small dining room and set the bread on the table greeting the people already sitting there.

Harry didn't know how so many people could fit at such a seemingly small table, but he supposed the table just magically enlarged itself with every person like everything else in the Weasley house. Tonks, pain in the shin forgotten, was blissfully chatting with a growling Moody about Mungundus who was sleeping at the end of the table, snoring lightly. Bill was leaning against the wall, talking to Fleur and Mr. Weasley was engrossed in deep conversation with Kingsley.

Trying to eavesdrop, Harry caught the words "Snape", "potion", and "well, hope it works" before Mr. Weasley turned around and noticed him.

"Ready for dinner then?" he asked.

Harry nodded and sat down next to Tonks. Soon the table was filled with steaming vegetables, brisket, and mounds of mashed potatoes. Ron wrinkled his nose when he saw the brussel sprouts, but dove in eagerly to the mashed potatoes. Harry found his stomach growling and had a really big appetite for the first time since June.

A smile formed on his face, his fight with Ron forgotten. He saw Ginny hacking away at a piece of brisket eagerly and grinned at her, reminded of how much she was like Ron. He took a large bite of brisket, saying something that sounded vaguely like "mass da fomatoes".


	7. A celebration

A/N: Hope you liked chapter 6! But if you won't review, I won't update! That's about the length the chapters will be – 1 per 2 successful creative writing classes. For those of you wondering, I didn't get in so I'm swamped with applications. Anyway…onto chapter 7.

Chapter 7: A celebration

The next two weeks went much better than Harry expected. He played quidditch with Ron and Ginny, being careful not to stray out further than the wards extended. Ron had retained the confidence that he had gained in the game when he won the quidditch cup. He flew with ease, smiling as he did what he loved to do. Harry played chaser with Ginny against Ron. She was even more amazing than he remembered. Harry wondered just how long she'd been stealing Fred and George's brooms because she flew just brilliantly. Her determination and skill with a broom rivaled Katie's and Angelina's – she'd make a great chaser this year.

Harry was so glad to be back on a broom, any broom, even Charlie's old shooting star that they'd recovered from the shed. He urged it to go faster and fly straighter, but it was old and its twigs were bent out of shape. He longed for his Firebolt, chained in the dungeons, trying to block out thoughts of Sirius as he flew.

Sometimes Fred and George would drop by to "spend some time with their favorite brother and sister". These visits would usually result in someone's hair becoming "shocking pink" giving them slight shocks when they touched it or someone only being able to speak backwards for ten minutes. Their antics would also result in Ron fuming for half an hour and chasing them around the burrow, as he was often the butt of the jokes, while Ginny and Harry clutched their sides laughing, egging him on. Though they were busy at their successful shop in Diagon Alley without Ron, who had stopped working for a few weeks to spend time with Harry, Fred and George missed the comforts of home that they didn't have in the flat they had rented.

Letters came from Hermione addressed to Harry, Ron, and Ginny everyday. Apparently she was really busy, "doing all of my homework of course! You should get started!" but enjoying the time she could spend with her parents.

Before they knew it, two weeks had passed. Ron and Ginny woke Harry up by throwing confetti into his hair and eyes. "Ahhh!!!" groaned Harry getting up. He rubbed purple and pink pieces of paper out of his eyes and looked sleepily at Ron and Ginny. "Why the bloody hell is there confetti all over me?"

"In celebration!" yelled Ginny happily. She was admiring the very adorable morning Harry, hair sticking up in odd places and three boxes of confetti in various patches on him. She grinned as he blinked sleepily, covering his ears at her yell. "Ginny…" he groaned again. "What celebration?"

"Your birthday you doof," said Ron rolling his eyes. "Besides, Hermione's coming today. I think you should clean yourself up before she gets a hold of you."

Harry blinked. That's right. It was his birthday. He'd completely forgotten. So, half of the summer was gone. How had it gone by so quickly? First he was crying over Sirius and feeling miserably guilty; then he was laughing at the Burrow with Ron and Ginny. Harry felt a pool of guilt forming in his stomach. How dare he have forgotten everything? What kind of screwed up person was he? His worry and self-loathing must have shown on his face because Ron nudged Ginny, pointing at him. She nodded.

"Harry!" yelled Ginny, effectively bringing him out of his daze. "Snap out of it! I bet I know what you're thinking about and I can't believe you. He would have wanted you to have fun on your birthday, not to burst into tears. Pull yourself together, unless you want me to do it for you." She paused to take a breath and glared at Harry. "We all miss him," she continued in a softer voice, seeing the hurt on Harry's face, "but he wouldn't have wanted us to spend our lives mourning him. He told us so in his will. If it makes you feel better, why don't you look at some of those memories tonight after your party?"

Ashamed of himself even more for upsetting Ginny and Sirius, wherever he was, Harry sat down on Ron's bed, thinking about her idea. It was pretty good. Maybe before he went to sleep, he'd look in that pensieve. He didn't know if it would make him happier or not, but at least he'd see Sirius again. He realized he had spaced out and looked back at Ginny.

"Maybe," he told her, "Probably not today. Thanks, though." For some reason, he didn't want anyone to know he was going to look at them. Trying not to look too suspicious, he hopped out of bed, not realizing he was wearing only boxers. Ginny however, whistled appreciatively and grinned, turning slightly red. Harry grabbed his pants, embarrassed while Ron opened his mouth, aghast and said "Ginny!"

"What?" she replied, laughing, while Harry pulled on his pants. "It's not like I've never seen boys in boxers. Harry, don't worry, I have seven brothers. All they wear besides quidditch robes is boxers."

Ron looked scandalized, "We do not!"

"Besides" she added grinning even wider, "it's not like I haven't seen Dean's."

At this Ron's ears turned a pleasant shade of maroon as he stared down at his sister clenching his fists muttering "That git, I'm going to make him so sorry…"

Chuckling, Harry pulled on his shirt and went downstairs into the kitchen, Ginny following him still grinning like a Cheshire cat. Ron went to his room and slammed the door. Coming into the kitchen, Harry's nose filled with the aroma of what could only be a chocolate cake in the oven.

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARRY!**

A large banner hung over the doorway. Mrs. Weasley hugged him and wished him a very happy birthday.

He sat himself down at the table across from Ginny, diving into his omelet. Harry heard stomping around upstairs as Ron paced his room, clearly frustrated at not finding something.

Ginny put down her fork and leaned across the table conspiratorially. Harry leaned closer to her to hear what she had to say. "I'm not really dating Dean" she said. "But remember I said that on the train?" Harry nodded and she continued. "Well, I owled him telling him about what I had told Ron because I thought Ron would glare at him and he deserved an explanation. So he sent me the picture back but that didn't make Ron really mad. He was at first but then he really liked the picture because it reminded him of his match, so he forgot about it. But this morning, that was great! I bet he's upstairs right now looking for paper and a quill to send Dean a letter." She laughed. "Poor Dean. But I hope this will teach Ron to stay out of my love life." She leaned back crossing her arms and looking very satisfied.

Harry smiled at her. For some reason, his stomach jumped a little when she said she wasn't really dating Dean. Shaking his head at her antics and deciding he didn't want to analyze this, he got up to put his plate in the sink. Mrs. Weasley intercepted it, saying, "Oh, don't be silly deer."

Harry had what was probably the best birthday of his life, aside from his 11th when he found out he was a wizard. For once, he was surrounded by people who loved him and tried to do everything to make his birthday great instead of ignoring it.

Later that afternoon, members from the order started showing up as well as Harry's family and friends. Remus came in at seven with a big smile on his face and hugged Harry, wishing him a happy birthday. Tonks walked in shortly after him, winking, and limping past him across the doorway.

"Oh come on!" Harry called after her, "You're an auror. Aren't you supposed to pretend not to feel, say, 2 week old pain?"

Harry heard Tonks laughing, followed by the sound of a bowl clattering to the floor as she tried to help Molly in the kitchen. Bill popped in from Gingrotts bringing Fleur, who both wished Harry a very happy birthday. Hermione flooed in from her house, which she'd temporarily connected to the floo network.

"Eee!" squealed Ginny, "I have so much to tell you!"

Hermione hastily waved hello to Harry and Ron before Ginny dragged her up the stairs to her room.

Oooooph!

Harry and Ron turned wands out when they heard a crash outside the door.

"Ouch! Get off me you bloody git!"

"Hey, it's not my fault you can't apparate properly!"

Ron and Harry pulled open the door to see Fred and George in a tangled mess. Ron grinned at Harry, "You'd think that they'd have learned to apparate properly by now."

George glared at him. "Maybe if Fred here, hadn't been so sloshed on fire whisky, he'd have remembered that we had wards."

Fred gaped at him. "I'm sloshed? Look at you, you can't even walk straight!"

Laughing, Harry opened the door wider and they stumbled through the doorway. Ron looked worried. "Mum's going to kill you. How much did you guys drink?" He crossed his arms, waiting for an answer and then added hopefully, "Did you save any for me?"

Fred clapped him on the back and said, "That's the spirit!" He grinned. "Now, business is business. Happy Birthday oh wonderful boy-who-lived!" He set himself in a sweeping bow, George following him with some added hand flourishing.

"Thanks," said Harry.

"So!" George said, clapping his hands together. "Where's the food?"

Mrs. Weasley bustled around putting all the food on the table outside. They followed her out to the backyard and sat down. If Harry thought last night had been a feast of sorts, this one definitely topped it.

There were a few chickens on the table and too many platters of vegetables and roast potatoes to count. Everyone sat down, including the now giggling Hermione and Ginny, and dug in. After Harry thought he had eaten more than anyone could possibly eat, he threw down his napkin as Mrs. Weasley announced it was time for dessert.

"Ahem" said Fred, standing up.

"Before we get to dessert," continued George.

"George and I have something we'd like to present to Harry as part of his birthday present," said Fred, trying to look innocent and failing miserably.

Everyone at the table looked apprehensive.


	8. A different time

Chapter 8: A different time

Fred cleared his throat while George produced a harmonica.

"We've decided to take the lovely song that Ginny wrote her first year and alter it a little bit." He bowed to Ginny, who started turning red, eyes flashing. Winking at her, Fred continued, "So without further ado, I give you 'The Boy-Who-Lived Anthem'."

You are our sunshine

Our only sunshine

Oh we've looked everywhere

For a boy like you!

You'll never know how

How much we loooove you

So we'll tell you why,

Oh, why, we do

Because,

(George changed the tune he was playing)

"Your eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad'  
Your hair as black as a blackboard,  
We wish you were ours,

We'd give you lots of flowers  
The boy who conquered the dark lord."

Everyone except Ginny applauded when they finished. The harmonica turned into a big balloon with kept rising in the air until it exploded, dousing everyone with massive amounts of confetti. "Not again!" groaned Harry.

Reflecting on it later that night when he was in bed, Harry thought it had been a pretty great night after all. Hermione had gotten him a big book entitled "Defense for Dummies" which turned out to be very interesting. It was animated and had three-dimensional illustrations that talked to the reader and showed how the spells affected different people. Ron had given him a big box of chocolate frogs and a better and bigger sneakescope that he had bought with his money from Fred and George's shop. Ginny had given him a book on animagi and had told him she'd talk to him about it later. Surprisingly, everyone else had given him clothes: new robes, tee shirts, jeans, even new shoes. Checking to make sure Ron was snoring, Harry retrieved Sirius's pensieve from under his bed and crept downstairs.

Sitting down on the couch, he put the pensieve on the table and took a deep breath. The liquid in the pensieve started swirling as he neared it. Feeling slightly reckless, he counted to three and plunged his head into the liquid. He felt the now, familiar, swirling woooosh! as he went back in time. Then he blinked. He was there, standing in the hallway as James, Sirius, and Remus walked down the hallway, laughing. Peter tagged along behind them, eagerly trying to share the joke. Ignoring the flash of anger Harry felt as he saw Pettigrew, he ran to catch up with his James and Sirius.

"Maybe I should report him," James was saying, polishing his head boy badge on his robes. "I mean, he did send a stinging hex at us. Of course, that was after we turned his underwear pink and flowery and _accidentally_ pantsed him." Sirius laughed loudly again, patting his friend on the back. Even Remus managed a slight grin. Harry sincerely hoped it wasn't Snape they had been pranking. He sighed in relief as a boy he didn't know sprinted down the hallway trying to hide his lurid underwear, causing Sirius and James to start giggling like school girls again.

James puffed his chest out, resembling Percy a little bit. "I have to take my new found authority seriously, ya know. Lily was pretty upset when she got a zero because he copied her charms homework after she had tried to help him."

"Aww," cooed Remus, "You're defending your girlfriend's honor, like her knight in shining armor."

Harry's heart leapt. So Lily and James were dating now. Harry watched as Lily left her group of giggling girls to say hello to James. She punched him in the arm lightly as she walked up.

"Oww!" James put on his puppy dog face. "That hurt!" Lily put her hands on her hips. "Well you shouldn't have pranked him like that! You're headboy. Act like it." James continued to pout. "But it was all to defend you, Lily. He had it coming." He winked at her and she couldn't help but let a small smile slip. "All right," she admitted, "it was pretty funny." James laughed and put his arm around her. "That's my girl." She smiled and they walked down the hall while Remus, Sirius, and Peter started singing "L is for the way you looook at me. O is for the only one I seeeeee. V is very, very extraordinary. E is even more than anyone that you adore..."

Harry grinned widely and suddenly the memory changed. He was sitting in the quidditch stands next to Sirius, Remus, and Peter who were cheering on James as he flew around the pitch in the game against Slytherin, putting the quaffle through the hoop again and again.

"Potter, Potter!" cheered the crowd of Gryffindors while the Slytherins booed. McGonagall herself was waving a big Gryffindor flag in support. James was amazing on a broomstick. Grinning, he waved at the fans after he scored yet another goal, putting Gryffindor in the lead by 100 points. Harry was thrilled. He had heard so many stories about how well his father flew and now he saw that he had in fact inherited his father's talent on a broomstick. The comparison was inevitable. The speed and the nerve with which James flew and dove was unparalleled by anyone on either team.

"Come on, James, GO!" Sirius was cheering James on, yelling himself hoarse. "Damn it!" he yelled in Remus's ear as James missed after getting hit by a bludger. "I should've been out there, stopping those bludgers!"

Remus looked at him incredulously. "Well it's your own fault you got yourself a suspension! What else do you expect McGonagall to do after you started that fight with your brother? You should've known better than to start pounding him on the quidditch pitch."

Harry's jaw dropped. He had known Sirius didn't like his family but to start a fight with his brother on the quidditch pitch? Sirius's eyes clouded over in anger as he turned his attention back to the game, cheering harder than before with a glint in his eyes.

Suddenly, the scene changed again. Harry was standing by the tree on the Hogwarts grounds where he had sat with Ron after his quidditch game and where James had ruffled his hair after OWLs. This seemed to be a famous spot for quidditch players. It was back to seventh year apparently because James and Lily were sitting side by side with Sirius, Remus, and Peter sitting across from them. Harry sat down next to James as he watched the group sit in silence, only disturbed by Lily sniffling. James hugged her saying, "shh, it's okay."

Sirius looked over at her sympathetically and said, "Lily, at least your parents loved you. You had a good family. Ugh, he is such a bastard." Lily's eyes filled with tears and she buried her head in James's shoulder, crying softly.

Looking at her distraught face, Harry understood. His grandparents had just been murdered by Voldemort. "But why them?" Lily asked with a sob. "What did they do to deserve it? Voldemort wouldn't even have known they existed if not for me. It's all my fault." James hugged her tightly murmuring, "It's not your fault, Lil; it's not your fault. We'll get him. I promise."

Harry sucked in a breath as his own eyes started to water. He turned away, forgetting that they couldn't see him. Voldemort had destroyed their lives just like he was destroying Harry's. He could see the sadness in Remus's eyes and he wondered just how much more pronounced it was now. Three of his best friends were dead and one was a traitor who had sold them out. On the contrary, Lily's eyes filled with fire. "You're right, James. We'll fight him. I swear if it's the last thing I do, I will become an auror and I will fight him."

Harry wished he wasn't in this memory anymore and he felt the wooooosh of himself being pulled out again. He landed back on the coach, his head swimming with images.


End file.
